Lost

During our focus group on Wednesday I briefly described our meeting with the CM&A candidate representatives. I found myself fighting to keep the focus and direction that Sara and I both feel led. The struggle was not with convincing me of our direction, but it was convincing our interviewers. As I have time to reflect upon that meeting I feel terrified and even lost. I have no explanation for these feelings other than spiritual attack. Here are my challenges: The road ahead of us is uncertain and even treacherous. We are currently paying off my student loan and at this rate have at least 5-years. Sara is more or less required to complete a Bachelors and that will cost $16,000 plus my MA degree will cost around the same. Financially we can not make this happen in the time frame of 3-5 years! Our second challenge will be time; Sara home-schools, I work full-time and we should enroll concurrently! Where did my confidence from Wednesday go!? I think of Matthew 6: 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. and Matthew 19: 26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." but it is still hard. Sara and I both would appreciate your prayers as god increases our faith. We want to be faithful and committed to the "race marked out for us." Stu